Does Your Collection Need Some Sprucing Up?

Feeling like your record collection is in the doldrums?  Not sure what to get rid of and don't want to add to it?  How about reorganizing?!  The VVers have come up with new fun and creative ways to give your record stash some new zing.  You could possibly even uncover a platter or two you didn't know you had!

Let's get sortin'!

By Genre
Rock, hip-hop, soundtracks, reggae, polka, you know how this goes.  You probably already do this.

Alphabetical
The pinnacle of organization?  Usually its alphabetically last name or group, but make it more challenging and try by album name, or reverse alphabetize to really keep your guests on edge.

By Optimal Time to Listen to the Record
Some albums really just should not be listened to over breakfast, or even in daylight.  Some are perfect to put you right to sleep at night.  Some should only be listened to under the influence.  Others never while hungover.  Some should only be listened to while cats are in the room.  Try organizing your collection by when you prefer to listen to the album.  By hour, by day, by season?

Where it Came From
All records from thrift stores go here, purchased online here, had forever here, borrowing indefinitely from a friend here.  Know where your records came from.  Sometimes, it is the only thing you know about a record (example, "that gold spray stenciled cover from Skully'z in New Orleans": no idea of the name of the band or album, only where it is from).

Chronological
A way to get a perspective on your music.  Organize by year originally released and records get to live near their contemporaries.  Time slices, people!  Or, if you are really weird, you can organize by date issued, meaning originals in one section and reissues and new albums in another.  Seems not right... and yet.

Sleeve Color
Are you one of those people that needs Instagram-able pictures of books or clothes organized by color?  Try it with your records.  Sleeve spines that are in rough shape and peeling/cracking go under beige/white.  Good luck.


Sleeve Spine Width
Here's a fun and tedious idea--arrange your records based on how much room they take up on the shelf!  Skinny to widest please!  Take this further by arranging your records by ...

Gatefold
Create a "gated community" on your record shelf that only houses gatefold covers!  Then work your way down to singles and then those flimsy sleeves that don't really have spines and aren't really sleeves.  The gatefold community reigns supreme!

Record Label
Shouldn't all of your Sub-Pop records live in harmony together?  Don't Motown albums want to share space?  Some labels could be neighbors, such as Gordy and Tamla.  Makes sense.  Could get a little confusing with artists who have lengthy discographies and did a lot of label hopping.  This probably isn't the best idea.


Related Bands
Rage Against the Machine/Tom Morello/Street Sweeper/Prophets of Rage/Public Enemy/Cypress Hill.  Are we playing six-degrees of separation, or should these records actually live together because they all have overlapping musicians?  Tool/A Perfect Circle/Puscifer.  Santana/Buddy Miles/Jimi Hendrix.  Dum Dum Girls/Haunted Hearts/Crocodiles/Flowers of Evil/A Place to Bury Strangers.  Big Business/Melvins/Nirvana/Hole/Foo Fighters/Queens of the Stone Age/Mark Lanagan/Screaming Trees.  Don't even think about trying this with the jazz recordings, everyone worked with everyone!  This actually might be a perfect way to organize.

Buying History
You know what album you got first.  This could be a really fun way to engage your collecting with a little self history reflection.  You would get some perspective on how your tastes may have changed (or stayed the same) over the years.

Listening History
A system like this would have to take place organically over time so the organizing part is generally very simple.  Just empty the first slot on your shelf and the rest should take care of itself.  It could be a little controversial as you're likely to lose track of albums very easily.  However, you'll always have a lock on what you are enjoying and what you aren't.  The biggest plus to that might be that you can figure out what you should put in the "out" box.  "Collector" records that don't get spun often or at all might get a little bit shunned, or maybe they will be more likely to be out of harms way?  Only one way to find out!

By Listener
If you share a collection and have designated records that don't get played in front of the other resident, why not relegate those records to their own little area where the enjoyer of those records knows where they are kept?  This would make it so the un-appreciator of those records never has to see them.  A quick rebut to this method is that one will immediately call the other out for taking up more shelf space than the other and chastise them to keep their amassing collection in check.   This system very acutely provides a visual to any hoarding being done by one of the resident collectors.  Probably should avoid doing this.  Le sigh.

Try a mash-up of styles, then really no one other than you will know where your records live.  Meow.

Randy Thinks You're the Spud

Randy Edleman You're the One 1979
In another chapter of . . . "The VVers braved it so you won't have to!"

Look at this piece of... No No No.  "It burns the eyes!!!"  What is happening here!?!  VVer Master Apprentice found this LP in the outbox of a relative on the West Coast (apparently it was a gift, hopefully a gag gift), shipped it to VVer Secret World HQ, with accompanying letter "Smug asshole cover waiting for a Vinyl Vagabond scathing review if worthy - HAHAHA."  Worthy indeed.

What starts off bad only exceeds expectations as a pulsating poop sandwich.  Dropping the needle reveals playful synth pop, completely void of creativity and soul.  Randy himself sounds like a fifth rate Elton John, lacking any significant musical chops and at times missing his marks.  His back-up singers do their best to sound enthusiastic, earn their pay, and get out of the studio as quickly as possible.  Title track, "You're the One" sounds a little interesting for a brief moment, in tone at least.  And then in comes horsey clackity-clack wood block percussion and the incredibly cheesy chorus.  It seems like an attempt at a Stevie Wonder tune going horribly off the rails.  At the very least, it's not as terrifyingly bad as what happens two tracks later: "A Potato in the Rain" which has the dubious history of being used to terminate pregnancy in farm animals.  It's hard to exactly quantify the level of schmaltz on display in this song, in short, this is a sad, sad, sad song.  It's supposed to be sad.  The VVers doubt this is the sort of sad Randy was going for though.  The track goes on about Randy getting ditched by a lady in favor of another guy.  Don't ask about what happened to the potato.  "Night Music," the only up tempo tune on the album has a 52 second fade-out which actually does have a final piano flourish to end the song... so why the fade-out Randy?  WHY!?!  By far the best/worst song on the album has to be the final track, "All Along the Rhine."  It's a tourism tune that touches on the history and sights of Europe set to a mopey vibe.  The lyrics end with Randy having a hangover.  Suffer through this album and it's guaranteed you will have a hangover as well.

Let's talk about lyrics for a second.  The VVers don't often review albums of love songs and balladry, so with a clothes pin firmly attached to nose, here are a few lyrics to contemplate.  First a line from the song "Thirty Years Old (Mom)": "I've been reading books, I wanna see the world at first hand.  I've been taking looks around, I'm gonna show where I stand.  I've been too locked up, to give my heart half a chance.  See your baby has grown, and it's time I left home."  Really Randy?  You put a song on your album about moving out of Mom's house on your 30th birthday?  WTF.  How about a line from "A Potato in the Rain," ready? "We had planned to take a drive, a postponed romantic ride.  But when I pulled up, another guy had just pulled out.  You waved goodbye, feel I'm falling, feel I'm weak.  I know I'm not in command, so here I stand in endless pain, a potato in the rain."  Endless pain is right.  The only upside is the VVers and friends now have a new code for a bad party time.  Example: "This bar is like a potato in the rain."  "Yeah, let's go."  Does this guy have a fan club?  Does it double as a watch list for the FBI's least wanted list?

Figure A: Totally creepy

But what got this record to the VVers is the album cover.  Look at this guy.  Have you ever seen such beautiful shiny hair?  His image, pointing so earnestly in the VVers faces.  The color of his skin is slightly washed out in a frosted way, perhaps intended to be ethereal, but instead has the appearance of the Grim aka "Awkward" Reaper.  Honestly, the LP has to be placed face down to finish this review otherwise there will be hurling.  As in, this VVer is going to hurl this album into a threshing machine.  Guess what?  The inside sleeve has even more awkward pictures of Randy and yes, in several of them he is pointing at the VVers.  STOP BEING CREEPY RANDY! 

Lastly, credits for "A Potato in the Rain" read: Fender Rhodes, Piano: Randy (Spuds) Eldeman;
Fingersnaps: Randy (Tater-Tots) Eldeman.  STOP RUINING POTATOES FOR THE VVERS!!!  THEY ARE YELLING IN ALL CAPS NOW!  This album is stamped a promotional "DJ" copy and is NOT FOR SALE.  What a shame.  You can't make that shit up, this album is the gift from Satan that keeps on giving. 

RCA Victor Vintage Series

Some records you end up buying almost by accident.  You might know of the artist (but not the specific record) or you know about the reputation of the label it is on.  The VVers have talked about this in the past; sometimes you have faith in a label and buy whatever they issue.  Examples that come to mind: Light in the Attic, Blue Note, Stax.  At some point a few years back, the VVers realized they had a few of these RCA Victor Vintage Series jazz records (Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman) and have since been collecting more, just because.  The iconic, black and white, diamond-shaped wine rack on the cover makes it fairly easy to identify a release from this series.  Had it not been for easily identifiable cover, we may not have picked up Earl Hines (hearing of him, but not hearing him) or Sidney Bechet (again, only known by name, not sound).  What is also nice is that many of them were recorded before vinyl LPs, and thus were available only on shellac 78s from the 1930s and 1940s.  This new series brought jazz and folk music on the as-advertised "microgrooves" of the vinyl record.  Each album is a well curated compilation of these musician's careers.  All the liner notes from this series are fairly thorough, speaking both of the background of the artist and the tracks selected.

"The RCA Victor Vintage Series has been created to bring you selected reissued performances, unavailable for some years, by great personalities of popular, jazz and folk music worlds.  All recordings in the Vintage Series have been remastered with the latest recording techniques, but the artistic values of the performances are the only consideration for inclusion.  There are truly great recordings of the past for your present and future enjoyment."

Duke Ellington Daybreak Express 1964
Recordings from 1931 to 1934, notable contributions from Cootie Williams on trumpets, Johnny Hodges on alto and tenor sax, and Sonny Greer on drums, amongst others.  Tracks are classic Ellington and sound "of the time," whatever that means.  This is perhaps the first of the series that the VVers bought.  The appeal of the cover art, known musician, and track listing certainly helped.  Jazz standard "Dear Old Southland" closes out side one on a familiar sounding high note, yet when turning to the sleeve write-up wanting to learn more about it, the pathetic one sentence just mentioning this song doesn't do it justice.

Leadbelly The Midnight Special 1964
Imagine being teleported to a time of the deepest blues.  You're not even close.  Try a little harder, get into the mind of the dusty field worker.  Leadbelly pulls the blues from his belly and pushes the lead out from his throat.  He belts out tunes like a solo, baritone gospel singer all while strumming on his twelve-string guitar.   Not the sort of record you just pop on for giggles.  He cuts up a howling jam pretty well: "New York Citay! Wooh!  Ain't that a citay! Eeeh!"  Puts Little Richard into perspective.  "Whoa Back Buck" is just amazing.  Good luck figuring out exactly what the words are in this work song--sounds like marbles in his mouth are occasionally spit out by kung-fu "hi-ya" shouts.  Even his back-up singers provide a "whoa, hey, whoa."  "Midnight Special" is especially affecting; swinging in soul and harmony like an ancient spiritual.  The liner notes on the rear sleeve are flush with information.  These VVers didn't know the story behind what the midnight special was--what did they think it was exactly?  "A popular legend among inmates at the prison . . . was that if the midnight express [train] shined its light in a prisoner's window as it went roaring by, that prisoner would be the next man released."  And now you know.

Earl Hines The Grand Terrace Band 1965
Jumping' swingin' rollickin'.  All three apply here to high effect.  Considering he is apparently known as the "King Pianology" his pianology isn't quite the focus here; most tracks feature horns and even the write-up credits saxophonist Budd Johnson for most of the arrangements on the album.  Overall it doesn't matter, it's still a great listen.

Sidney Bechet Bechet of New Orleans 1965
While it assuredly helps when an older record is in pristine shape, the audio on these recordings from 1932 through 1941 are stunningly quite crisp.  Perhaps this is because these New Orleans classics were mostly recorded in RCA Victor's New York studios (as opposed to field recordings) with Bechet on both the clarinet and soprano sax.  His self-taught style sounds like a hummingbird zooming in tight tremolo.  Final track, "Sheik of Araby" is an odd one, he played all the instruments, overdubbing one after another.  This was 1941.  Who did that!?!

Benny Goodman B.G., The Small Groups 1965
Literally every time one of the VVers plays this for others, usually the stand out "Bei Mir Bist Du Schon," someone asks what it is and comments positively on it.  It's a guaranteed conversation piece defined by multiple tempo shifts directed by Goodman's narrative clarinet and accompanied by a playful, shimmering xylophone and crisp female vocals.  About half of the tracks on here are fast numbers that will get your toes tapping in a pleasing frenzy of percussion, while the other half of the tunes are more patient and magical.  All are colored nicely with Mr. Goodman's clarinet and smooth swing.