Monday, January 26, 2015

Vison Quest Motion Picture Soundtrack

VVer #1 hit the Wheaton Library Bookstore to run through their tattered collection.  Never heard of this awesome place?  Go figure.  The most info you'll find is on the county library webpage, buried at the bottom:
"The Friends of the Library, Montgomery County, MD also sells books and other materials at its bookstores in Rockville and Wheaton.  The bookstores sell both donated materials and materials that have been deaccessioned from the library collection."  What an understatement!  Those librarians were probably just psyched to use the word deaccessioned in a sentence (as are the VVers).  This enormous store is a treasure trove of Linda Rondstadt, Barbara Streisand, Dan Fogleberg, Joan Armstrong, and piles (literally) of classical.  Had one the notion to do so, they could easily clean house on the entire discography of Neil Diamond.  This VVer on the other hand had more elusive prey in mind.  If you're willing to sift through it, there are gems and other interesting oddballs to be discovered.  For just one dollar a slab it is the perfect place to spend freshly minted unemployment money.  Hence the Vision Quest Motion Picture Soundtrack review you are about to read was born.  Is it a gem or just some dull pebble?  The VVers had never even heard of this movie before, but it has two Madonna songs on it so how bad could it be (cringe)?

Journey "Only the Young"
The VVers are both retired bartenders so even the thought of listening to Journey is forever tainted by hearing that one song (you know the one) over and over sung by drunken idiots in the early AM hours.  That put, "Only the Young" is only mildly painful.  It might encourage you to take a cat nap.  Call it "pleasantly harmless."  The guitar solo ever so briefly enters territory resembling hair metal, but the rest is just tepid.  Something about wildfires, blah blah blah.  Fade=lame.

John Waite "Change"
This almost rocks for a second or two.  Strong female back-up singers "Change!" and  some decent drumming.  The guitarists work here is shameful.  They do nothing.

The Style Council "Shout to the Top"
Liberace and Tom Jones had a baby.  Nobody loved that baby.  Some tempo changes in here are interesting for a laugh.  Nope, it is really just awful and the fade-out can't come quickly enough!

Madonna "Gambler"
Hey, nice high voltage bipidipidipa pop!  Other than an appearance on the VQ soundtrack, this dance single was never released in the US or on any of her LPs.  Oddly it made it into the top ten abroad.  This is a fast paced dance song but ... VVer #2 disputes that: "It did not make me want to get up and dance."  A little pedestrian for Madonna, but not entirely displeasing to the ears.  When cranked it briefly enters the fun zone, but it needs something more interesting to happen and the weird whistling fade-out isn't it.

Don Henley "She's on the Zoom"
Not bad.  This former Eagle is a decent musician and it's clear he knows how to craft a pop rock hook.  Too bad this song is buried on this soundtrack.  It's alright and would easily be the highlight on a Huey Lewis and the News b-sides compilation.  The track has funny female back-up vocals and fairly amusing lyrics about going to home economics class and cooking "chicken a la king."  By the way, what does "on the zoom" mean?  Is that 80's slang that never caught on?  Does it mean another fade-out song?  Ugh.  Too much of that on this soundtrack.  VVer #2: "Can we... uh, listen to some good music?"

Dio "Hungry for Heaven"
The riff totally rips off "Baba O'Riley" by The Who, but hot damn does this song RULE!  No wonder it starts with the sound of angels singing!  But seriously, what a total rip off.  The majority of this song is great, but the chorus is just stupid.  Ok, it's so obvious now that it has to be an homage.  Oh, who cares? Listen to that guitar solo!  The tune ends with an impossibly long, overly drawn out fade-out.  It's as if they are rubbing it in.  MEGA-FADE!

Red Rider "Lunatic Fringe"
Hey, not bad!  This has a nice Pink Floyd a la The Wall vibe.  Nice "whoa ah oh oh" breakdown sing-a-long portion too.  Good one.  Oh... unnecessary sirens in the final synth metal segment.  Oh well.  At least no fade-out.  The VVers have never heard of these guys before and might just be on the lookout for an LP.  Nice surprise here.

Sammy Hagar "I'll Never Fall in Love Again"
This stinks.  Maybe for the purpose of a musical montage in the film it works, but... really this is dull.  Is anybody here even trying?  Oh crap, there goes the fade-out.

Foreigner "Hot Blooded"
Nobody really likes this song.  Maybe it would be cool at a strip club or something, but you would have to be absolutely hammered and it would have to be the 80's.  This is such an obvious half-hearted AC/DC rip.  The lyrics are just a joke.  "Are you old enough?  Will you be ready when I call your bluff?"  Dear lord, and fade-out.

Madonna "Crazy for You"
This is sort of a cute single.  Not Madonna's best and not really typical of her cannon of ballads.  Something about the corny instrumentation is so very 80's so it gets a bit of a pass.  At one point it sort of sounds like the theme to that Gummy Bears cartoon, and that's not a bad thing.  It's got a little bit of fun stuff from the backup singers during the chorus "bup bup bup bup ahhhh."  Nice directness where Madonna stops singing too and just plainly says "I'm crazy for you."  It's like she's talking directly to you.  That's kind of hot.  Here a fade-out sort of makes sense although really, it's a cheap shortcut and we all know this.  It must be STOPPED!

Final verdict for the Vision Quest Motion Picture Soundtrack?  Fade out of the collection.  Remove movie from Netflix queue.  Avoid associations with all parties involved.  Learn to live with feelings of shame.

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