Saturday, August 5, 2017

Dear Record Executive

Dear Sir or Madam Record Executive,

Please consider green lighting a B-Sides and Rarities compilation for the legendary Mr. Kurtis Blow.  He continues to be musically active and is considered one of the founders of hip-hop.  In addition he most assuredly could use the money.  Evidenced here:  His discography has many high points that justify digging in the vaults (with all seven LPs in their collection, the VVers know what they are speaking of), yet there are some low points.  For instance: his last few albums were decidedly his worst, his somewhat corny rapping style became dated, and most surely of all he was "born again" in the early 90s and The Jesus does not like rap.  It's true.

Not convinced?  Perhaps a live album?  Even a legitimate "Greatest Hits and Misses" collection with a few bonus tracks might do it.  The few compilations (cassette, CD, and digital only) that have come out don't feature a single bonus track.  So whack!  Where are the deep cuts?  Where are the diamonds in the rough?  Mr. Blow probably has whole concept albums that have never seen the light of day!  Even an all B-Sides collection (ha, this is evil) would be acceptable... perhaps even useful?  The U.S. military would probably be first in line to underwrite it.

The VVers do not deny their shameless KB love.  No matter how bad this new compilation is, the VVers will buy it.  That put, please ensure this release is a plushly designed, picture disc, triple album pressed to minimum 200 gram vinyl, packaged with a chrome collectors download card, foil embossed lyric sheet, deluxe life size door poster, and flier advertising how to join his fan club.

Suggestions for a title:
B-Sides Both Sides
This Blows
Blowin' Again
Tough Deuce, America
Falling in Love ... Again?
Breaks, Blows, and B-Sides
B-Movie Beasts? Nah, B-Side Blowin'!

In conclusion, KB is an international treasure who deserves to be recognized for his talent.  The VVers are willing to pay.


The VVers

P.S. The VVers have made it a tradition of harping on about bad B-sides by Mr. KB, and that is not really fair.  The man has made a number of great B-side cuts such as:  "Throughout Your Years" (with crazy jazz pianos and funspirational call and response), "Do the Do" (featuring fat drum rolls and bass lines and some very silly call and response), "Daydreamin'" (the only tolerable singing Mr. KB has ever done over a well-composed track), "Under Fire" (a sonic assault of echo, braggadocio, and laser beam effects, also a favorite of VVer #2), "I'm Chillin (the Transformers theme song co-opted as an anti-sexism track), and "If I Ruled the World" (probably his most recognizable late-career track, famously swiped by Nas for his single of the same name).

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