Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Escape from DC (In Reality)

In this episode, the Vinyl Vagabonds will share their next, far superior plan to escape from their home base in Washington, DC, amidst political idiocracy.  (Learn more about their first escape plan here.)  Their means of travel will be a TARDIS-like teleportation device made of the empty cardboard box from their new(ish) turntable.  But where will our heroes go in this magical box???

The answer lies with pizza.  Doesn't it always?  The VVers will be traveling to the fabled Pizza Stork Island.  Whaaaa???  Do explain!
Congrats on your escape from DC Mr. and Mrs. VVers. 
Did you remember to pack your shark repellent?
Not so long ago, VVer2 legitimized the claim that pizza is her desert island food by eating pizza every Friday for a year (really, it wasn't hard).  Therefore, she has earned her worthiness to travel to the magical oasis island where a stork delivers a fresh pizza daily.  Toppings and pizza styles can change (thanks to the world class chefs at top secret Stork Alpha Zone HQ--more on that in the next episode), and foraging for additional toppings--compliments of the island--is also acceptable.  The real kicker here is that hidden under each delivered pizza is a record.  Yes, a vinyl-record-a-day is smuggled to the desert island as entertainment to pass the long, stranded hours (wait, the VVers chose to go here, they weren't marooned)!  But who is sending these records?  And how is it that there is a record player (and electricity) on a desert island?  Relax, and stop asking so many logistical questions geez!  The VVers also know that you are reading this wondering about how the stork manages to transport the records without getting gooey cheese and luscious sauce all over them; the answer is that it just happens and no records or sleeves are harmed in the transport.  Trust the bird.  Most importantly the records are always to the VVers' liking (this is a fantastical island, lest you forget).

Check back in on those rascally VVers next issue to see if they can manage to build a record shelf and hi-fi system constructed entirely out of pizza boxes and coconuts--powered by the sun, of course!  Till next time!

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