Bad, Very Bad

The Crusaders - Ghetto Blaster - 1984

New Year's Eve, Woodwards Auction House in Hampden, Baltimore:  I should have been suspect when I asked the salesman how much they charged for unmarked records - in this case "The Crusaders, Ghetto Blaster".  He took one look at the album, a sideways glance at me, then a pause.  He looked me straight in my eye, smiled, and said that the record was "on the house." Why didn't I throw that record as far away as possible and run in the opposite direction at that point?  I'm not sure.  Not only did I not accept his offer for a free record, but I insisted I pay him a quarter; making this a legit purchase.  A fun, if not entirely awkward transaction.  The second I walked out of that store sensed I might have crossed a line that I should not have.  Clearly I was not thinking straight.

This thing is downright horrendous.  I recognize I'm a sucker and I probably bought it because of the name Ghetto Blaster; it sounded like it had something going for it!  Also, it looked at least 5% interesting because the cover art.  Turns out the cover is the only thing about the record that doesn't spur me to gag.  The unusual piece, The Maestro, painted by rare combination NFL player and artist, Ernie Barnes, is spare and has a dark tone in its humor.  His stylized, elongated figures can also be found on the cover to Marvin Gaye's 1976 album, Sugar Shack.  That being said, the cover art is all this slab has going for it.  The VVers couldn't even get through all of the A Side without running for the stop button.  It sounds like elevator music with a beat.  I would imagine some incredibly shitty harmonized vocals also make up this album, but I don't remember getting that far into this one, and if I did, it has completely deleted itself from my C:\ drive.  No big loss.  Experiencing some of the really bad records that exist in this world of ours makes me appreciate quality records that much more.

Two things learned from this experience:
(1) If it is free (or if you have to convince the sales person to take your money), it is probably not good and buying random crap can sometimes bite you on the behind.
(2) Vinyl records sometimes have a way of piquing curiosity towards something equally (and in this case, more) captivating than the music itself.  Due to my self inflicted mistake of purchasing this dud, I got to read up on Ernie Barnes, someone I had never heard of before, who seems pretty interesting. A great deal more interesting than this record.

My apologies to whoever the next sad owner of this record will be. Perhaps a better next chapter for it will be to melt it, and turn it into pot for a cute plant.

New Clear Days

New Clear Days - The Vapors - 1980

This is the first and last album I sought out at the old location of Joe's Record Paradise in Rockville. Joe's has since moved to the heart of downtown Silver Spring and the new location is absolutely jammed with goodies (read about the VVer's hometown paradise here). It certainly takes the cake as the most complete record store in town, but to be frank, there aren't that many record stores left in DC anyways.

The Vapors lead off with the impossibly catchy single "Turning Japanese", which will likely give you a nose bleed if played too frequently. The single is slightly cheesy, and has some dinky instrumentation. Put simply, it's dumb, pop fun. The remainder of the album on the other hand is mostly solid, fast paced, and easily tops the lead song. Strong influences from The Jam, The Stooges, The Clash, 60's pop, and a little ska can be heard as well (how dare I make comparisons to such stellar bands as these?). Each side has a great closing track: "Letters from Hiro" and "Bunkers" respectively. These are both downbeat pop rockers that have plenty of thumping rhythm, but none of the same peppy mood as "Japanese." These guys frankly seem depressed at the state of world (hey, it was 1980, things were looking pretty bleak. I mean, the hair styles alone made it seem like the world was going to end at any moment). "I've got no idea where we go from here, maybe that's why we're living in bunkers". The only dud on here is "Waiting for the Weekend" which is catchy, but not in a way that makes you want the weekend.

Every song on this disc has its charms. "Somehow" is an odd apology to a lover song. "Don't leave me now, I'll make it up to you somehow." It's tight and effective. Several side-B tracks have a Ramones style chug-a-lug, made even more complete with sing a long set to a drum track. The Vapors never really bring out the big guns though. They never wail or squeal vocally or on guitar. The heaviest thing they have going for them is lyrics and the aforementioned rhythm section. Pop all the way.

Album art work is strong here. The cover depicting a news weather man pointing at a blue screened weather map of the UK. Several of the typical storm clouds and suns have been replaced by a mushroom cloud and a nuclear fallout symbol. Pretty dark stuff. It perfectly matches the gallows humor and punkish pop of this 80's LP. Less effective is the back cover where you get to see the band members end of the world hair styles. AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Old Stand Bys

Records that get frequent play time and are dependable for a good listen at a moment's notice.  Here is just a handful that we could write a whole lot about, but wouldn't it be a lot better if you just listened to them?

T. Rex - The Slider

The Doors - self titled
Run D.M.C. - self titled
Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction
Talking Heads - Speaking in Tongues
Black Sabbath - Paranoid
Duke Ellington - Daybreak Express
CCR - Willy and the Poor Boys

Find these records.  You will be happy.  Then you can write a review, because we're too lazy.

Wood Glue?

Cleaning your Records with Wood Glue:
(1) Go to your local hardware store.
(2) Do not make eye contact with salesman.
(3) Buy large quantities of wood glue; do not discriminate between brands.
(4) Pay cash. Crisp bills only.
(5) Do not use coupons.
(6) Shove old ladies aside on your way out of store.
(7) Run directly home.
(8) Unplug phone and microwave.
Now you are set.






What? You want real instructions? Ok then, be that way:
(1) Choose record that seems it spent part of its life in a dust storm.  Things that wood glue can help with are pops and clicks that are deep within the vortex of your record grooves.
(2) Put on turntable.
(3) Set the turntable to spin, but do not apply needle.
(4) Apply wood glue.  Start from the center grooves making certain not to get any on the paper label. Work outwards using generous amount of glue. Do not get hypnotized by swirling white and black lines.
(5) Use a side of card stock paper, cardboard, or crappy album cover that you never want to see again, to smooth out glue to totally cover record.
(6) Power down your turntable and place record somewhere to dry for a few hours. Make sure to keep the record level while it dries.  Under a ceiling fan has worked well for us.
(7) Determine if glue is dry.  Clear glue = dry, white glue = wet.  Fear the white glue.
(8) When glue is totally dry begin peeling up an edge of the glue - this can be tricky at first, but you'll get it.  Once you get it going keep peeling.  Try to peal the whole thing in one go; practice on an orange and try to get the entire rind of as one piece (ok, that wasn't a real instruction).
(9) Make sure record is clean from any remaining glue.  You might need to use a cloth to remove any thin or cracked glue fragments.
(10) PLAY!


Thanks to Joe's Record Paradise for posting this mesmerizing video of a demo of how it's done, including a before and after listen to the glued record.  These VVers were convinced.  At least we could try it on a 15 cent record to start with, in case of impending doom.  Doom, however, has not ensued.  So far, we have experimented on only three records with mixed results, none of doom however, and all records remain playable.

First trial: Fat Boys debut album.  This thing was full of crackles and pops and some skippage.  The result was definitely a more clean sound with only very minor white noise; skippage remained, but that was expected.  "Human Beat Box" was unharmed and vastly improved.

Trial two: Queen II.  As discussed in our blog for this album, found here; when played at high volumes, the sound just got fuzzed out.  Maybe it could be from years of junk in the grooves (most likely not, but worth a try). Maybe some wood glue could help?  It sounds a bit crisper now, but still doesn't hold up well on high volume.  Could just be a poor fidelity slab.  In this case the VVers are on the lookout for a nice remastered edition.

Ravi Shankar Improvisations has absolutely no sheen to it and no scratches.  Give it a spin and it is full of hisses and pops.  Wood glue result: nothing.  Seems as if dull vinyl = poor quality vinyl.  Sadness.  Perhaps this  one was made from recycled tires?

So we are batting .500 with the wood glue.  I mean really, we have only tried three records; a pretty measly sample group.  It did give positive results to the one album we knew it could fix - Fat Boys.  Happy birthday.

It's fun to play with glue.  Try it and see for yourself.

Spinnerette

Spinnerette 2009

You know that newish band Sleigh Bells that everyone is so damn excited about? The rah rah electro-propulsive metal sound? Well, Spinnerette crushes that with way more attention to craft. Several tracks on this explosive debut LP have very similar "rah rah rah" cheerleader chants backing up growling vocals and coupled with propulsive buzzsaw riffs. The big difference is that Spinnerette is far from being a one trick pony. Along with the aforementioned dose of the rah rahs (Ghetto Love, Sex Bomb, Baptized by Fire), you also get soulful death marches (Driving Song), noodly stoner chants (Impaler, Distorting a Code), and end of the world doom metal (Cupid, Prescription for Mankind, A Spectral Suspension). Way more ponies. Very catchy death dance metal ponies.

It all started when the VVers met a bartender who appeared utterly disinterested in just about everything whilst in Richmond last year.  She was playing this album during her day shift at Sticky Rice. I recognized the vocalist's raspy wails swimming in a skuzz of distorted techno skronk as Brody's and inquired with a "hwaaah?" Our aloof bartender transformed to chatty, surly, excited, and a little jaded at the world all at once. Needless to say, that experience stuck with the VVers and I ended up mail ordering this hot pink disc through the newly minted "The Record Exchange" (f/k/a CD Game Exchange) in the SS hood.

Brody Dalle, formerly of punk/alt rock band, The Distillers, unleashes a slew of gnarly vocal growls and haunting moans on this album. Those who know this band might expect something a little less popish, but frankly, Spinnerette is a much more accomplished and melodic effort than any Distiller's record; and they still cram in plenty of ear crushing vocals, chalk board scraping chords, and morbid metal to please this fan. The new sonic forays might be attributed to the input of collaborator Alain Johaness, working in Cali (instead of Distiller's home base Australia), the influence of recent hubby (and Queens of the Stone Age frontman) Josh Homme, and a host of other things. Likely the combination of growing up a tad and breaking free of a major label had a good deal to do with the powerful and more mature new musical direction. Hell, she's got a great voice and she doesn't need to waste her talent screaming away all day.

You'll be listening to this and not be the least bit surprised when you're dancing and rocking out at the same time. Most tracks are jammed with steady thumping rythym for the shaking of booties.  Think it's all fun and games? Noooo. Dalle has that rare combination of croon and snarl in her vocal chords. It soothes and the next second rends. It's a real bastard.

Spinnerette's soundscape is permeated with odd blorps and beeps that sound like they've been fed through the doom machine a few times. Imagine it's a warm and sunny day just before the world ends and you're listening to a Devo song that's been covered by Joan Jett, and then remixed by Satan. Hooray!

"Play The Clash! [blup blup blup]"

Call us crazy, but our little fish tank dwellers tell us when they like albums we play.

The small six gallon tank is right next to the turntable so they have a bird's eye view (fish eye view?) of all the action. Certain records clearly insight a playful curiosity and fanciful swimming. The main residents of the aquarium are guppies. Their phonic tastes are a bit hard to decipher though. They are almost always in a state of bopping around with their fluffy colorful tails... but if I were to guess, they mostly like early hip hop (read Kurtis Blow, Fat Boys, Run DMC). Water carries sound waves incredibly well so with enough bass the little guppers are bouncing up and down as if they were at a night club.

The king of the tank however, is an algae eater, named Giuseppe, who lives in a castle. Being vastly larger than the guppies, he has a more refined and developed taste in music. He speaks Italian, enjoys playing chess in his castle, and absolutely digs The Clash. His favorite Clash album from the collection is definitely Combat Rock. He actually requested we buy it for him! Weird right? Play this one and he comes out of his castle and cleans the entire tank, has a starring contest with the nearest VVer, or relentlessly chases the guppies around. He's a good fish. I'm pretty sure he was excited when we walked in a few weeks ago with a copy of The Ramones - Leave Home. GIUSEPPE IS A PUNK ROCKER NOW!

P.S. - We have a little white foofy dog next door that cries for hours when his parents leave him home alone. Guess what happens on our side of the wall? VERY LOUD Black Sabbath. In fact, we hope the little foofer likes any type of VERY LOUD music. We always make sure to really crank it when he's at home by himself. One would think that the pooch would learn by now that his parents will return; they always do. My theory is that the dog now secretly likes to howl to the sound of blaring Sabbath early on a Saturday morning. This is why he keeps up his whining as a prompt to "PLAY MASTER OF REALITY!(AROOO-ROOO)". Smart dog, at least I like to think so.

Queen II - 1974

Queen - Queen II - 1974

Where to start: the white or black side of the album? No one knows. What is known is that this album is simply amazing. Queen's second, a so called concept album, will absolutely blow your mind and singe your ear drums when spun for the first time. It continues to build intensity with every spin. The vocals and chords are insanely catchy.

"Did you just hear a sitar?" No...

"I'm pretty sure that was a sitar."

This is not an album that you pick up and know any hits from, which might make you hesitate if you see it in the store - but DON'T BE A FOOL. Buy it! This is an album that needs to be played from start to finish without skipping tracks; no one-off singles here. Songs morph together and are smartly interconnected. It's as if Queen later took this whole album and (less effectively) smushed it down to create their best known track Bohemian Rhapsody. The sonic experimentation, soaring choral vocals, and scintillating riffage are infinitely better enjoyed over an entire full length album. Bohemian Rhapsody, while fun in its lunacy, is too full of grandiose ideas for one song. Queen II lets those ideas out to play in the most joyous and strange ways. Speaking of Bohemian Rhapsody - the video and most iconic band imagery is based on the cover of this album. The morose, shadowy cover is theatrically bleak, then open the sleeve and ...

MY GOD! Feathered hair! The airbrushed glamour-shot is like turning on a spotlight inside a crypt ... the black and white sides; equally menacing.

"What was that?" "Slide-whistle." "Oh..."

Starting off the white side: "A word in your ear, from Father to Son..." sounds like Freddie's got something poetic to say in high dramatic style. Lyrically speaking it would be easy to read into what's going on, but who knows? Freddie is talking about a lot of kings, ogres, nymphs, titans, and of course queens (black and white). Is he talking about real people in the fantasy land of clubs and bars? Is he just really into dungeons and dragons? When music is pummeling you this much it really doesn't seem to matter.

Side black starts with Brian May delivering crushing riffs from another dimension. It's also a signature musical flourish from the queens of flourish. Of course, the fact that it takes place in the context of being invited to an "Ogre Battle" is totally appropriate. It makes so much sense that these guys did the soundtracks to Highlander and Flash Gordon. Oddly satisfying combinations rule on the black side, which was written entirely by Mercury. You get to hear the intensely chaotic "The March of the Black Queen" followed by the seemingly playful "Funny How Love Is."

"Was that a gong?" Probably.

Only one unfortunate thing about this record is the fidelity. Upon cranking, which often occurs, the highs and the lows don't really go there without an apparent fuzzed out static. I don't think it's the state of the record; it's likely the mastering or thin tinny vinyl. This is one album that I would seek out the remastered "audiophile" 180 gram vinyl (stay tuned for a future blog on fidelity; we're still sussing this stuff out) and it would be worth every penny and its weight.

"Did I just hear a harpsichord?" Yes!

Epic.

Queen II is a fun, but intensely dramatic album; full of balladry, and strut. Seek it out immediately.

Party Time?

Party Time? EP - Kurtis Blow - 1983


This is the current go-to Blow album in the VVers ever expanding collection. Several factors have led to this:


Let's put the obvious out there: The album title is amazing and is often put into this context:  "What record should we listen to? Party Time?  What time is it? Party Time?  Should we get another round?  Party Time?"  You get the idea.


Party Time? taken as a whole is the only Kurtis Blow album to date that is great from start to finish. Granated it's only an EP, but maybe that's the format that suits him best.  No cringe inducing tracks on side two (see prior reviews here and here), which makes flipping the record repeatedly a pleasure instead of a terror.

Opening track, "Party Time?" is way ahead of its time as a fusion of musical genres, hip-hop and go-go (It's a DC thing. Don't know about it? Keep reading). It has a bouncing tempo that instantly gets you moving. Lyrics are a straight up thank you to the good that having great tunes around can do, especially when times are tough. Conveniently enough, at just over eight minutes long it is the perfect length for a morning abs workout. Nice! The track also features wailing horns that will rapidly transport you to the opening credits theme music of Saturday Night Live. The fact that Beastie Boys lift one of their more well known samples from this track (see, Hey Ladies) gives this disco synth sing-a-long track some major additional cred. Not that it needs it. It is a dance floor classic in this apartment.

Blow collaborates with early champions of DC based musical cornucopia known as go-go, EU (Experience Unlimited) for the majority of tracks on this platter. The go-go sound is a hypersmorgasbord of rhythm, funk, call and response shout outs, conga drums, and general R & B mayhem. For the uninitiated it can be a tad overwhelming, but in the case of this EP, Blow manages to get the manic vibes to compliment his old school style. "Party Time?" is the purist example of this but, "Gotta Dance" is a potent funk and synth jam that will have you moving fast as well. Blow pulls out all the verbal tricks and the slinky synth hook matches well with the gut punch bass lines.

All dancing and good tunes aside, Blow makes a concerted effort to point out that things are tough out there for the average American. The album cover art is a straight look into the audience eye with Kurtis standing in front of a line of folks waiting to pick up unemployment checks; perhaps it is not yet party time. Maybe that's a simplistic touch but I think it would have been mighty easy for the fun loving rap star to focus on the bling and disco sheen that was still common in his time. Instead he shines a light on inequities around. "Nervous" talks a lot about how the world is a constantly litany of dangers for folks. He rails about politicians, the legal system and "missiles every place," but in a way that isn't mean or nasty. He's a story teller at heart. Closing jam "One-Two-Five" is a classy funk shout out to the main drag in Harlem. Lyrically he manages to name drop Fidel Castro, The Count, The Duke, and Doctor J amongst many others. It's an impressive ode to his home and a great send off for the EP.

Silver Spring is Record Paradise

Joe's Record Paradise back room

By a total stroke of coincidence Silver Spring, MD (the VVer's homebase) - on the northeastern tip of the DC diamond - has become what the VVers think is the epicenter of the DC metropolitan vinyl universe. Easily accessed by metro, bus, road, or bike trail, this fair town's record stores are worth your visit.  Silver Spring has always had a handful of interesting thrift and second hand shops to root around in, but now, with last year's inclusion of former Rockville store, Joe's Record Paradise, it is a vinyl Mecca.


Joe's Record Paradise has been in the DC area since 1974 and in their new stupefyingly huge location on Georgia Avenue, they absolutely put away any contenders.  For a record store, the sheer magnitude of the place is baffling.  At least ten giant rows of mixed cheap records lead you into the store (along with CDs, DVDs, tapes, etc.) and that is only the opening foyer!  The main store-donned in shocking bubblegum pink is just enormous (granted it was the location of the former Legends Billiards).  They occasionally have cool old school bands playing at the far end of the shop.  Joe's collection of rare, new, used, and basically everything under the sun, is thorough in almost every conceivable way.  It is extremely well organized unlike most used shops these days (read: Neil Diamond, Barbara Streisand, and Barry Manilow all have their own separate sections which can easily be bypassed).  The staff is friendly and full of character; saying that they know their music would almost be an insult.  I love that they have several nice turntables on site for buyers to check out what kind of shape things are in.  Prices run the gamut, but it is hard to imagine ever walking out of this place empty handed.


Roadhouse Oldies has also been around since 1974 specializing in 50's, 60's, soul, R&B, and doo-wop.  They also have an uncatagorizable $3 bin, which often has a few golden finds.  I'll never forget the rainbow covered record (maybe it was a 60's boy band?) we let slip away.  It was the most oddball/amazing looking thing ever.  This is the place where you are most likely to find a record you have never seen or heard of before.  Obscure isn't even touching it.  The store is a little cramped, but the vibe is clearly for true music lovers.  People here know their stuff. It's a warm, cozy shop.


CD/Game Exchange rounds out the bunch.  Also started in the early 70's (in Ohio) this store seems the most modern of the stores.  For vinyl prices they cannot be beat.  They have a pretty regular rotation of material, and records are as cheap as fifteen cents.  You read that right.  CHEAP!  Most of the decent records will set you back about two to five dollars.  The VVers have picked up some really unusual stuff at this shop just because it is so inexpensive that it's worth a little experimentation.  It's a stellar shop and the staff are all really helpful.  They do special orders and have a frequent buyers club as well.  Staff seem pretty honest; they've told us straight when they cannot order us records from certain labels.  They have also looked at price competitors on the web with us.  We've traded in many a pile of records, CDs, and DVDs here and always get enough store credit to score us more random records.


Silver Spring is a vinyl town.  This trifecta of record stores has led to the purchasing of larger shelving units for you know what.  Fun.

The Nightwatchman - World Wide Rebel Songs

World Wide Rebel Songs - Tom Morello, The Nightwatchman - 2011


This third album from Tom Morello as his folksy singing and strumming persona, The Nightwatchman, furthers his credibility as a stellar solo musician. Coincidence that the release of World Wide Rebel Songs comes following the Arab Spring and right before Occupy protests were being established? I think not. Both Morello and his music energetically rally behind the cause of social justice. During Wisconsin's uproar about collective bargaining, Morello played "Uniontown", a bonus track for the digital download of this album, in support of the ocean of protesters at the foot Madison's city hall.


For this album, Morello has evolved/devolved away from The Nightwatchman's acoustic only approach. When asked why he plugged back in he responded, "I figured I can play guitar like that, so I should." Right on. In most cases as The Nightwatchman, I prefer his acoustic material (this preference in no way applies to his guitar as a WMD playing in Rage.) His acoustic style seems less showy and lends itself to a genuine and natural sounding story-telling. The Woody Guthrie-esque sound is honest from the tip of Tom's commie baseball cap to the soles of his union made boots. Tom's voice has a medium rasp that travels neatly between Johnny Cash and Bruce Springsteen. Sure, he's not the vocal talent that those two are, but when he starts to wail on his electric guitar you won't give a rat's behind. "The Dogs of Tijuana" and "The Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse" are heartfelt unplugged songs. Guitar riffs in "It Begins Tonight" are loud, heavy, and alive, yet are totally in sync with the rest of the work on the record. Tom has that rare gift that he can meld the two disparate styles and still convey such powerful material. Star tracks here are the harmonica heavy, call and response "Speak and Make Lightning", "Stray Bullets", and the passionate war cry lament "Save the Hammer for the Man", featuring Ben Harper.


Mr. Morello puts on an awe inspiring performance. The VVers have seen him a few times over the past few years in various sized venues, but most recently touring on this album at the oddball, sit-down Birchmere back in September. The very first time we saw The Nightwatchman perform, we had a sing along to "This Land is Your Land". This time around he invited everyone (yes, everyone) to join his band on stage and sing "World Wide Rebel Songs". Pretty sweet! What's more is that he called out everyone trying to record the performance on their smart phone to put them away and designated ONE person from the audience to record the clip and post it on Youtube for all to view. Respect. During the show he told a lead-in story for each song, be it funny or serious. He told us that the song "Black Spartacus" is about his guitar by the same name, and was inspired by Mick Jones from the Clash who called his guitar a "heart attack machine". It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who names inanimate objects...


Speaking of inanimate objects - the record itself is super dense and feels like it is the weight of a small puppy. This thing is so thick and strangely the edges are squared off instead of tapered. It resembles a small tire.


One suggestion Tom - bring vinyl to your shows to sell! How dare you only have CDs? Luckily Ka-Chunk!! Records in Annapolis happened to have this record waiting to be snatched up.

The Telephantasm

The Telephantasm - Soundgarden 2010 (recorded in 1987)

Record Store Day 2010 this VVer was busy doing something important or some such (probably working) and so the other VVer was very nice and went to the neighborhood CD/Game Exchange to pick up this oddball 7", limited press of only 4,000 worldwide. So of course I'm feeling great about all of this.

Listening to The Telephantasm is another story entirely. It is not really a proper song, but an instrumental. As a single I've got to wonder, umm, do they know what a single is? Telephantasm is a giant riff (with some moaning from Chris Cornell) track by axe master Kim Thayil. Thayil has always been reliable for laying down the heaviest of guitar riffs; notable for their stellar sludge hammering. Sludge hammering? Wha? Anyways, I think the guy is basically a guitar demon. Listening to Telephantasm we get that riff. THE UBER RIFF! And it keeps coming over and over. Pretty much non-stop. The track has a sort of mantra chant of the guitar monk thing going on. Here comes the pulsing giant riff in overdrive! It has been a real journey to wrap my head around this track. I've listened to it many times over (not all at once mind you - doing so would likely cause some sort of convulsive drooling fit.). Telephantasm has been a furiously confounding listen. At just under three minutes it is over and done with almost too quickly. Pounding riff, devastating drums, weird moaning and atmospherics. It is an odd thing indeed. Loudness and a few cocktails help exponentially.

I haven't been able to track down anything close to a review of this track. Just a tiny snippet about the production. Apparently whilst preparing to put out a comprehensive best of collection (also named after this, the oddest of odd tracks; another strange decision) they found this outtake from their very first record; the amazing Screaming Life. With a little studio hodge podgery, mixer Adam Kaspar was able to polish it enough to put out into the world. But why as a single? Isn't that what Black Rain was supposed to be? Most peculiar thing about the Telephantasm single is sandwiching it with an unreleased live version of GUN; a song from two albums later; the spectacular Louder than Love. Why put these two together? How about a version of Heretic or Nothing to Say, you know, at least something from the same time period as Screaming Life?

It seems there is little to be gained and I would say a lot to be lost with a goofy ass single like this. It kind of turned me off for a while. Is this a joke? Who was high that day? Who sobered up? Ultimately it makes me really question what kind of reunion album the guys in Soundgarden are working on. Telephantasm, while interesting in its peculiarness, does not bode well for the future.

2011- A Year in Vinyl Music

Best New Vinyl: Beastie Boys - Hot Sauce Committee Part Two

For sheer kitchen sink bravado this record is the clear winner of the year. Strong in every category, plus great packaging and cool freebies. The only bad thing was having to wait to get our greasy mitts on it. Full review here.

Honorable Mentions:

Crocodiles - Summer of Hate

Dum Dum Girls - Only in Dreams

Tom Morello the Nightwatchman - World Wide Rebel Songs

Best Used Vinyl: Big Brother and the Holding Company - Cheap Thrills

What really sets this record apart from the pack (and it was a pretty large pack this year!) is a hard to describe quality that is very rare in records these days. I'd call it the wow factor. On every song it sounds like every facet of the music is just going full thunder. Positive and soulful with a realness that is unmatched. Nice that a record that is as famous as this earns every touch of praise it has garnered over the nearly 50 years since its release. Full review here.

Honorable Mentions:

Kurtis Blow - Party Time?

Devo - New Traditionalists

Queen - Queen II

Peter Tosh - Mystic Man

Best 45: Rage Against the Machine - The Ghost of Tom Joad

No contest, this record was found almost by accident at the Idle Times Bookstore in Adams Morgan. We didn't even know they sold vinyl at all! Frankly, the VVers rarely go out of the way to find 45s, but this one was just sitting by the counter in glorious translucent purple vinyl. We'd only just recently seen Tom Morello, the Nightwatchman, perform this Bruce Springsteen cut as a faithful to the original cover. These two versions couldn't be more different. In this case the RATM assault version is superior. Why? Well, for one Tom Morello's atomic riffage will quickly incinerate any doubts. Did that guy learn to play guitar on Mars or what? Two, the earnest vocals from Zack De La Rocha give a different kind of snarling urgency to the tune that neither Tom nor Bruce can match. Awesome woodcut artwork adorns this beauty; the 45 cover art is even bigger than a CD cover. Vinyl wins again!

Honorable Mentions:

Beastie Boys - Pop Your Balloon

Dum Dum Girls - Coming Down

(Both were freebies that came with the full album releases. Both on white vinyl. Classy!)

Best Concert (yes, it's not vinyl, but it is a big part of our musical lives): See-I @ U Street Music Hall

This show was incredible! Featuring the local reggae luminaries in all their glory. The VVers had seen See-I as side men for Thievery Corporation on multiple occasions and were extremely excited about the chance to see the duo command an entire show. The Jamaican rhyme splitters dominated the venue and had everyone dancing from the moment they took stage. Ironically, this is the only band listed here that we have no vinyl by . . . get it together See-I.

Honorable Mentions:

Tom Morello, The Nightwatchman @ the Birchmere

Patti Smith @ Merriweather Post Pavilion, Virgin FreeFest

Devo @ the State Theater

Sleigh Bells @ 9:30 Club

Best plan to deal with all the crappy vinyl we went out on a lark to try out: Turn them into bowls to use as centerpieces at our wedding.

Hope everyone had a quality musical 2011. 2012 is already off to a good start. The year kicks off with the VVers heading out into the world to acquire new and expanded shelving for all these records that seem to be multiplying exponentially. Expect upcoming reviews of DEVO, Queen, and yes . . . more Kurtis Blow.

Crocodiles

Crocodiles - Summer of Hate 2010

The Crocodiles debut record sounds like a cross between the Doors and a crappy 80's goth act. It does work, honest. "Summer of Hate" thoroughly delivers on hooks, angst, droning guitars, distortion, and shamble. Some of these tunes, "Flash of Light," "Summer of Hate," and "I Wanna Kill" seem angry and sad, but are deeply infused with pop shimmy. Dance you sad S.O.B., DANCE! "Soft Skull" is covered with low-fi vocals layered over convulsive beats to make you want to get up and jump around. Singer Brandon Welchez yelps and chants his way through the record in an organic stream of consciousness way. He seems at times to be channeling his inner cult leader. I can hear Jim Morrison in there for sure. "Sleeping With the Lord" has a -happy cause I'm high- kind of thing going for it that comes through loud and clear. They don't beat you over the head with it; more they invite you into the haze of their blissed out day-glo nightmare. What they are going for... well I can't figure it out; maximum happy and bottom of the boards sad all at once. The entire thing lumbers forward with an off the cuff organ instrumentation that seems to have creeped out of somebody's early 70's church basement.

WARNING: Certain portions of this album could led to strong feelings of homicidal madness. It should not be listened to over morning coffee or while reading the paper. Apply only when you are feeling active and doing things. Do not look directly at this record. Do not taunt this record.

The VVers have seen Crocodiles twice as opening act (Ladytron/The Faint and Dum Dum Girls) so it's hard to imagine what a full set would bring. The funeral dirge organs would probably be something to behold in a sweaty encore.

Visually the record has a nice little trick. The cover; a pixelated photo, is reproduced on the little inner circle printed on side one and two of the record. The only difference is that side one is zoomed in a little more so you can only see one eye, side two zoomed out a little more to see both eyes. Clever.

The Gaylords - Let's Have a Pizza Party - 1956

Seriously, I dare you not like this album! Everyone loves a PIZZA PARTY (unless you're lactose intolerant; bummer)!!! I have no good reason why I bought this, only because of an impending vacation to Italy, and that pizza is my desert island food. Oh, and there's a super cool mint green Vespa on the cover. Really, the Vespa would have been enough.

As it turns out, the music is not only REALLY good, it's at times soulful and rich with brio. Having returned from the Italian voyage, I can't help but to wax nostalgically on the accent of the country. Lyrics are recorded in Italian, so despite my efforts to master Italian, I really have no idea what they are saying except for the occasional "mi amore". The harmonies are smartly backed with accordions, mandolins, and a chipper xylophone, which makes for an old world Italian restaurant charm. There is a wisp of a romantic carnival in it all. The clicks, pops, and clacks of the old record just add more to the atmosphere. Picture being serenaded at an outside piazza in Italy while sipping on amazing Chianti and enjoying an apertivo of parmesan and prosciutto on crusty bread.

It's true; this can happen to you ... if you listen to this album. At a mere fifty cents, the VVer's are feeling like millionaires for this score. By the way, this is also Giuseppe the fish's favorite album.

THE HOOK will grab you

The Hook - Will Grab You - 1968

This album, hailing from 1968 unveiled its cover to me at a thrift store in Bethesda recently.  I have a fun obsession of making a hand gesture of "the claw" (seen clearly on this album cover) when people/things annoy me.  I would love to have an album with "the claw" or as they call it "the hook" on it.  Into the our buying pile it went.  At fifty cents a pop, why not?  When Mr. VV went through our pile of potential purchases, he decided against The Hook and slyly put it back in the bin (not just in the front of the bin, but cleverly sandwiched in the middle, in hopes I wouldn't realize we weren't going to buy it).  I knew absolutely nothing of the album, but I decided I wanted it solely based on the claw-tastic cover.  So, I dug around for it a bit and that is how the album clawed its way into our collection.

Expectations were low for the first spin of this record, I mean really, "The Hook Will Grab You" - way to be cliche on your album naming conventions.  We made it all the way through Side A (nervous looks for what was to come) without wanting to run screaming, and in fact, it was even good!  But would the B Side hold up?  It got a flip and surprising enough, it wasn't bad.  Their sound is very reminiscent of their contemporaries, The Doors, mixed in with some Cream and Jimi Hendrix.  They are a tablespoon tie-dye pysch rock, a teaspoon blues rock, a teaspoon rock and roll, and a pinch of whimsy.  "Garbage Man" is literally a love song about a girl swooning over the local garbage man which is accompanied by garbage truck sounds - think shattering glass and truck varoooom noises.  There's also some lalala-la-la-la-la-ing.  Pretty fun.  But then take the bad side of whimsy with a track "Everything's Groovy" which is a low (or high) point in the record.  It is in fact very groovy.  Hopefully they were super drugged out when the lyrics came to them: "everything's groovy, things are nice, think we're living in a paradise!"   Think of "Afternoon Delight" but sung by Ron Burgundy and cohorts in Anchorman.  Yeah.

However, this is not representative of the rest of the tracks on this album.   Opening track "Homes" has distorted guitar solos and screeching a la Rolling Stones.  Harmonica kicks in on "Looking for You" and catchy double time beats define "Turn Your Head" which sounds like it is recorded in lo-fi - maybe inspiration for the Black Keys.  Heavy guitar riffs (sounding like a precursor to Black Sabbath) and vocals on "Son of Fantasy" prove they are a serious band.  

Something tells me this gem of an album has gotten lost in all the format medium crossovers in the past decades.  It seems only to be available on a grossly overpriced import CD and of course the vinyl.  Further proving a good reason to listen to vinyl and to rummage through bins at your local thrift shop!

Tom Tom Club

Tom Tom Club - 1981

Knowing that half the core creative force in this oddball dance act comes from seminal 80's band the Talking Heads has always been in my head. Knowing how swimmingly quirky their debut album is came way later. The disc has a virtual smorgasbord of funk, synth, hand claps, and general what-the-heck-ama-doozery.

Tom Tom Club makes dancing happen; true. The first two songs, "Wordy Rappinghood", and "Genius of Love" are probably two of the most sampled/lifted from songs of 1981. You may never have heard these originals before, but you'll recognize their chords from a lot of songs that you do know. Why copy from Tom Tom Club? These songs are insanely catchy. When listening, it is basically impossible not to be dancing. Trust me, I have tried standing still and it doesn't work. I ended up twitching and it was really awkward. So... more about this record; Tina Weymouth and singing sisters chirp along to each beat to beat tune. Sometimes they seem to be singing together, but often it's like a cacophonous conversation from a gaggle of funky art ladies. The power to the people jam "On, On, On, On...", which sounds like it was recorded in somebody's den, is probably the most catchy tune on here. The lyrics are simple and motivating: on and on, we will come, there are scores of us. You'll be singing along in short order. "As Above, So Below" has a ticklish rhythm section and some unusual percussion. Synthesizers percolate in and through every inch of this tune. It has a throbbing bump bump bump zip zap zooie zooie zap zim bump thing that just DOES NOT QUIT! Play this entire album before leaving the house for the day and you will be energized four hours, or at least long enough to bike yourself to work.

As far as side projects go, expectations usually end up high and results end up low. This is a respectable exception. Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth never stop creating the things that made Talking Heads so great. They just added more fun and ridiculously talented musicians to the mix and went to the clubs with it. On a recent tour stop in Silver Spring the VV'ers got to check out the still poppy and peppy group. For some fairly over the hill folks they sure made a racket! Fun.

Tom Tom Club's sound reminds me of a slinky.

Hot Sauce Committee Part Two

Beastie Boys - Hot Sauce Committee Part Two 2011


Waiting for an album, especially if it's one that I'm dying to hear, is an absolutely excruciating experience. I've certainly sat in line at a few midnight releases with my tiny stack of cash burning flash in my pocket. When it's the new, and much talked up Beastie Boys album, the feeling is triple excruciating. The Boys, all due respect, put out an album (not counting their excellent instrumental  records) about every fifty years it seems. Shall we take a look at the numbers for a second?


Beastie Boys years in operation (since 1979!)= 32ish


Beastie Boys albums (full length original, non instrumental)= 7


Now granted, Beastie Adam Yauch was dealing with cancer (recovering well it seems, hooray!) which delayed the release of this one, but seriously, LOOK AT THOSE NUMBERS!!! That averages out to about two albums per decade, with the 2000's being the slowest time by far. Only the generally unappreciated "To the 5 Boroughs" in '04 kept the hope alive. Why mention all o this, belaboring the obvious? Well, this is just a lead up to the extra month the VV's waited to get our grimy hands on this vinyl beauty! Why an extra month? Well, for some stupid reason or another it took that much time after the digital and CD release on HSC Pt.2 for the vinyl to come to our humble Silver Spring record emporium (CD/Game Exchange, who were always nice about the delay, but didn't really have any answers for us other than, "we'll call you"). Thank goodness for Soundcloud for streaming the album while we patiently (four calls to the record store) waited for these pristine platters to arrive. Thanks to the music gods; it was worth the wait.


It is not an exaggeration to say that the Boys are back, and off the wall as ever. HSC Pt.2 has plenty of old school moments to savor; "Make Some Noise", "The Larry Routine", and "Say It" are all strong examples of that old rhyme, swagger, and humor. Still, it's important to note that this new music has a modern vibe, clean production, and some very tasty sound.  Parts reminisce all the various gold standard albums... some Paul's Boutique on "Say It" for example.  Yet the message has matured somewhat.  Particularly impressive is the interplay of core Beastie values with just letting loose and being silly.  It's a constantly spinning blend.  Much of the musicality is a confident throwback to their later 80's/early 90's sounds with some tightly produced modern beats. Guest spots from Santigold and NAS are highlights, but the entire album delivers.  It's not a lengthy affair either.  Most of the tunes clock in at around three minutes and several amp up the pace considerably; the hardcoreish "Lee Majors Come Again" is a good example of this.  I can't imagine what would have happened if the Boys stuck to their hardcore roots.  It probably would have worked out pretty well.  They lay it down and still trade off couplets with effortless agility.  Weird thing is, every time I listen to the record I just want to hear it over again.  It has a sound that's like a puzzle, it keeps constantly challenging me.  I especially have enjoyed listening to it with the lyric sheet as I've been able to sift through all of the mouth watering musical nuggets with more precision.  The lyrics are sharply arranged on the record sleeve inserts with a color coding system to help the uninitiated tell who is saying what (also with plenty of added hahaha commentary).  That's how I can say with utter certainty that ADROCK, during the cooly minimal "Long Burn the Fire" spins without a hint of irony "See this rap thing is all about the bragadacia, I check my rearview MC's ain't gettin closer... I'm like a tailor cause I got the thing sewn up, or a proctologist I move asses".  It's just that simple.


Packaging included crisp white vinyl, a free 45, digital download, an iron on shirt decal, and some pretty fun drawings/artwork. No complaints here at all.  See if you get all that with the $8 digital download.

Heartless Bastards

Heartless Bastards - Stairs and Elevators 2005

Go no further fans of power chord churning lady blues. On this, the Bastards debut album, all signs point to a kick in the ass parts! I've had a few friends over the years complain of the absolute dearth of woman fronted bands where the lady actually sings like a grown up, not a little girl. Well the Bastards do indeed oblige the adult sound. Leading lady and guitarist Erika Wennerstrom does more than just howl her way through these up tempo blues crushers. She shows these tunes no pity, her steamroller of a voice is so dominant. On songs such as "Gray", "Done Got Old", and "New Resolution" she upends a dump-truck of soul and heartache. Lyrical content can sometimes veer into a hazy stupor; possibly some booze and other substances were involved in this. Still, it's a potent whiplash combination of tone, energy, and message. Kind of down at times, but with so much raw power. It seems clear the Erika has lived some livin', which you better do before you try to start singing the blues. With all the fireworks it can be difficult to pay attention to all of this melancholy. My little eardrum hairs get singed every time. This album in particular is a frenetic mix of boom boom thud and churn churn browrrrrrrrrllll. The action is GO! Haha...well, occasionally the intensity clicks down a notch, but only for a brief moment or two. That moment is generally followed by the mega wallop and it's right back into "TAKE THAT" and "COME OVER HERE!". There is a whiff of early 90's grunge in this, but it is surprisingly effective.

Live, the band is absolutely sick. Even acoustically (the most recent time {four times and counting} the VV's saw them @ Iota in NOVA) the Cincinnati bred trio left no doubts as to their blues rock chops. Yes, the Heartless Bastards do share some DNA (the blues), a home state (Ohio), and a record label (Fat Possum) with recent mega star the Black Keys. No, the sounds are not the same. Let's face it, Erika is a barnstormer of a lead musician. Comparing what she does to what the Black Keys are doing is just plain silly. Like comparing cheese and tofu. Sure they're both curds, but c'mon... it's not the same thing. This isn't about a battle of the sexes, but when you listen to the Bastards you are most assuredly listing to a woman. This factoid is out there, intentional, and pretty damn essential to the identity of sound of this absolutely awesome band.

Peter Tosh - Equal Rights

A blog on Peter Tosh has been writer’s block to me.  Having accumulated six out of his seven solo studio albums, I am still in search of his first, “Legalize It” to complete the collection.  Yet, out of the albums that I do have, at least two stand out as brilliant recordings, start to finish: “Mystic Man” and “Equal Rights”.  I have been wanting to write about them, but without knowing how to get started.  Usually a drink helps – which it did last night – when Mr. VV played a record with “Get Up, Stand Up” and (without having seen what record was spinning) I found myself asking if this was our Bob Marley or Peter Tosh record; in this particular instance I genuinely could not tell the difference.  This got me wondering who actually is credited for this song, because inherently, the tune is more in the style of Tosh - writing about injustice, war, and poverty - not Marley’s one love, three little birds, and that the sun is shining.  Well it’s a split bill on this one, both get the recognition for the penning of “Get Up, Stand Up”.  However, let the record show, that I prefer Tosh's rendition.  Tosh seems to really own the lyrics a bit more than Marley... just sayin'. 

           

Ms. VV vs. Writer’s Block: 1-0

Peter Tosh, being a founding member of the Wailers, released his sophomore solo album “Equal Rights” in 1977 starting with “Get Up, Stand Up"; how stylistically appropriate.  But it really only gets better from here.  His lamenting sway in "Downpressor Man" is his Jamaican roots take on "Sinnerman", an American folk song made popular by Nina Simone.  Its multi-tonal instrumentals come through as captivating on this track, and make it my favorite on the album.  This is followed by the thoughtful "I Am That I Am" and the politically motivated "Equal Rights" starts off the B-Side.

Peter Tosh's inspired vocals matched with the backing musician's drumbeats provide a definitive heartbeat that can be heard throughout the entire LP and it is worth many a listen.

Big Brother and the Holding Company - Cheap Thrills 1968

If you've never heard this album in its entirety, which I hadn't before about a month ago, go out and find a copy and sit down and give it a spin. Then get up and flip the record. You'll likely flip it several times; yes you will.


Then top it off with watching D.A. Pennebaker's documentary footage of the 1967 Monterey Pop Festival (thank you AFI SilverDocs Film Festival who recently screened this gem) and be prepared to be blown away by Janis Joplin's powerful, rending of garments vocals. Her performance at Monterey Pop of "Ball and Chain" even had Mama Cass (The Mamas and the Papas) watching the performance in jaw dropped awe. Joplin's performance was over-the-top powerful, especially for a relatively unknown white girl from Texas singing the blues.


So back to the album, their second, which is filled with the aforementioned powerful and raw vocals from Joplin, as well as blues beats, and doo-wop inspired energy. "Piece of My Heart" is the obvious hit from the album, but also the band's rendition of "Summertime" is full of screeching guitar riffs complimented by Joplin's raspy howls to re-invent this classic. Her sheer heart attack power at lead absolutely dominates the recording. This should not in any way imply the rest of the band holds back or is not up to the challenge. They lay down a steady full groove. She just snatches it up and sets it on fire. You can hear occasional coughs and bottles breaking in the background. Parts seem like they were recorded in someone's party barn. This is a perfect album for an afternoon in the summer; a few beers, maybe an Arnold Palmer, very little responsibility.

Also worth serious consideration, is the album artwork; most notably the front cover illustration by underground comic legend Robert Crumb. His seemingly simple style belied the artists absolute mastery of layout, lettering, and caricature. His "ideal" image of Janis Joplin as the ultimate hippy (hipsome as well) chick with a big round bra-less bod is classic Crumb. He has a well deserved reputation as being somewhat sex obsessed, especially with the curvy ladies. Thing with Crumb is that he doesn't so much objectify the big ladies as he worships them.  The fact that Joplin asked him personally to do the art gives some merit to him being way more special than just being some random pervert comic guy. With it's bright colors, clean lines, and one panel mini-stories, Crumb deftly incorporates all the album information into one mega pop sleeve. He fluently combines out of luck turtles, stoner freaks, and the merriment of the movement into the mix. An awesome black and white photo of Joplin was relegated to back cover status in deference to Crumb's illustration's obvious power and uniqueness. Watch this interview snipet with Crumb about his work on the cover. You'll be glad you did.